Last week I was talking to a friend of mine about the best ways to deal with heartbreak. As a rule I don’t believe in miracle solutions for anything related to the heart – our soul is such a magical thing in itself it doesn’t leave much room for the sensible “miracles” that the mind might work. So we started from the assumption there was nothing one could do to actually make the heartbreak disappear. The most we could hope for was an effective way to deal with it and prevent it from wreaking havoc in our lives.
Heartbreak, of course, has its stages, and needs to be dealt with accordingly. The first and most difficult phase is where you feel nothing else matters in your life and you might as well be dead, as living with such intense pain is not living at all. Few people actually surrender to that feeling, though. They’re those who attempt – and sometimes succeed – to kill themselves. I personally see suicide as an absolute proof of weakness, therefore I have little sympathy for these people. However, most people who go through a heartbreak resort, at this stage, to less dramatic escapes from the immediate and painful reality. They either take up drinking or binge eating, or they cry and sleep a lot, or they try to keep themselves busy from dawn till dusk…
Now, if anyone was to follow the advice provided in the countless books that have been published on overcoming heartbreak, the one healthy “escape” that most people recommend is keeping yourself busy with things that do you good, whether it’s by shopping for a new wardrobe, making an effort to eat more health food or committing to a serious work out programme. Personally I believe the latter is also the most effective and beneficial long-term. But…
To quote what I told my friend, working out is like a first aid kit in the case of heartache. But it’s also the most difficult to get around to. I’m sure pretty much everyone has had, at least once, a headache so excruciatingly painful that they couldn’t bring themselves to get out of bed and walk to the nearest drugstore for a pill to put an end to it. Well, I believe exercise is the same. You know in your mind that working out will do you a world of good, but when you’re so broken all fight and life has gone out of you, when even opening your eyes and rolling out of bed seems a hugely difficult task, actually finding the motivation to go to the gym is downright impossible…
And then, even if you do manage to get to the gym and work out for an hour or two, even if you manage to keep the pain at bay for a while, this first-aid kit still is only a temporary solution. Just like popping a pill for a headache will make you stop feeling it, without actually solving the problem. If there’s an underlying condition causing the headaches, eventually you need to seek treatment for that condition. Unfortunately, it’s not as easy with heartbreak. The one treatment that has been shown to work is time. But even that is not 100 % effective. So, for everyone else who doesn’t get away with it… well, folks, perhaps it’s time we accepted the thought we are addicted to those pills after all. Better choose them carefully.
Heartbreak, of course, has its stages, and needs to be dealt with accordingly. The first and most difficult phase is where you feel nothing else matters in your life and you might as well be dead, as living with such intense pain is not living at all. Few people actually surrender to that feeling, though. They’re those who attempt – and sometimes succeed – to kill themselves. I personally see suicide as an absolute proof of weakness, therefore I have little sympathy for these people. However, most people who go through a heartbreak resort, at this stage, to less dramatic escapes from the immediate and painful reality. They either take up drinking or binge eating, or they cry and sleep a lot, or they try to keep themselves busy from dawn till dusk…
Now, if anyone was to follow the advice provided in the countless books that have been published on overcoming heartbreak, the one healthy “escape” that most people recommend is keeping yourself busy with things that do you good, whether it’s by shopping for a new wardrobe, making an effort to eat more health food or committing to a serious work out programme. Personally I believe the latter is also the most effective and beneficial long-term. But…
To quote what I told my friend, working out is like a first aid kit in the case of heartache. But it’s also the most difficult to get around to. I’m sure pretty much everyone has had, at least once, a headache so excruciatingly painful that they couldn’t bring themselves to get out of bed and walk to the nearest drugstore for a pill to put an end to it. Well, I believe exercise is the same. You know in your mind that working out will do you a world of good, but when you’re so broken all fight and life has gone out of you, when even opening your eyes and rolling out of bed seems a hugely difficult task, actually finding the motivation to go to the gym is downright impossible…
And then, even if you do manage to get to the gym and work out for an hour or two, even if you manage to keep the pain at bay for a while, this first-aid kit still is only a temporary solution. Just like popping a pill for a headache will make you stop feeling it, without actually solving the problem. If there’s an underlying condition causing the headaches, eventually you need to seek treatment for that condition. Unfortunately, it’s not as easy with heartbreak. The one treatment that has been shown to work is time. But even that is not 100 % effective. So, for everyone else who doesn’t get away with it… well, folks, perhaps it’s time we accepted the thought we are addicted to those pills after all. Better choose them carefully.
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