Sometimes when talking to people and trying to help them figure me out (which is no small feature in itself!), I run into the challenge of explaining the apparent inconsistency between what I claim to be my relentless passion for life – and my just as relentless obsession with work. To most people, it seems like the two are mutually exclusive, and I can’t honestly argue against that...
Essentially, what they’re saying is, how do you find time to passionately live your life when you’re working so hard you can barely find time to live at all?
I totally see where they’re coming from. Passion is supposed to mean allowing myself to be consumed by feelings and sensations, whereas the only thing I’m really being consumed by is ... work, I guess. But just like being an alcoholic means, in a twisted sort of way, being “passionate” about alcohol, being a “workaholic” means that I love what I do professionally (as in “it makes me happy to do it”!). And I am being consumed by it, but in a way that’s enriching me, not depleting my resources. And people have been accusing me for quite a while now that my emotional involvement with work hardly leaves any heart-deep resources for those who matter in my life, family and friends, pets and lovers, present and past. But they’re so wrong...
Simply put, what I do for work is an important part of who I am and what I am worth. My entire sense of self-worth could be split, sort of, as follows: 10% the way I look, 15 % what important people think of me (people who matter to me, that is), some 35 % my own satisfaction with the quality of my work, 30 % being able to remain true to myself and genuine in my feelings, 10 % my precious freedom... The figures are obviously thrown at random, but the fact remains, I am largely responsible for how I feel about myself – and a big part of that is made of professional achievements.
I guess it all just goes to show that I’m using work as a safety net for a life that I do live passionately – and therefore dangerously! I have a very smart friend I haven’t seen in ages (Miha, if you ever read this, give me a call!) and she used to say, among other clever things, that falling in love means being prepared to end up looking like a fool! All the more true when what you’re falling in love, what I AM constantly falling in love is life! But then, each time I want to take a jump at it, I’m comfortable knowing there’s a safety net out there.
Essentially, what they’re saying is, how do you find time to passionately live your life when you’re working so hard you can barely find time to live at all?
I totally see where they’re coming from. Passion is supposed to mean allowing myself to be consumed by feelings and sensations, whereas the only thing I’m really being consumed by is ... work, I guess. But just like being an alcoholic means, in a twisted sort of way, being “passionate” about alcohol, being a “workaholic” means that I love what I do professionally (as in “it makes me happy to do it”!). And I am being consumed by it, but in a way that’s enriching me, not depleting my resources. And people have been accusing me for quite a while now that my emotional involvement with work hardly leaves any heart-deep resources for those who matter in my life, family and friends, pets and lovers, present and past. But they’re so wrong...
Simply put, what I do for work is an important part of who I am and what I am worth. My entire sense of self-worth could be split, sort of, as follows: 10% the way I look, 15 % what important people think of me (people who matter to me, that is), some 35 % my own satisfaction with the quality of my work, 30 % being able to remain true to myself and genuine in my feelings, 10 % my precious freedom... The figures are obviously thrown at random, but the fact remains, I am largely responsible for how I feel about myself – and a big part of that is made of professional achievements.
I guess it all just goes to show that I’m using work as a safety net for a life that I do live passionately – and therefore dangerously! I have a very smart friend I haven’t seen in ages (Miha, if you ever read this, give me a call!) and she used to say, among other clever things, that falling in love means being prepared to end up looking like a fool! All the more true when what you’re falling in love, what I AM constantly falling in love is life! But then, each time I want to take a jump at it, I’m comfortable knowing there’s a safety net out there.
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