Newsflash, people! Even the most savage of us, career-oriented, independence-loving, commitment-phobic women can be lured into the peaceful bliss of domestic life… provided the right man is there to lure us in, comfort us throughout the process, and find some clever way of keeping us trapped. ‘Cause, blissful or not, it still feels like a trap sometimes.
Like many women in my generation, I’ve grown up believing that my best asset was my mind and my skills, mostly professional ones. I’ve educated myself into thinking there’s more potential to me than just being a good, loving, tender wife. That, important as it may be to be able to cook, bake, clean, wash and all that, it was more important to be able to make myself happy – and contribute to the happiness of whoever was lucky enough to cross paths with me WITHOUT getting in my way…
It’s a rather selfish view on the world, but I still believe that to a large extent. I still think I am the only one who’s responsible for my own happiness and, therefore, my own happiness needs to come first. But it’s so nice to discover I can make other people happy in the process simply by learning and practicing the art of negotiation and compromise.
Case in point. I’ve recently moved in with my long-term significant other, after much hesitation on my part. I was very much afraid moving in would mean turning into a full-time “wifish-creature”, the complete opposite of who I am and who I want to be. That I’d have to give up the things I liked, accept some stuff I didn’t like and even, sigh, be forced to grow up.
Turns out it isn’t nearly as bad as I’d feared. It’s actually nice, to be honest. I find that my new status allows me to keep much of my cherished independence and freedom, and it allows me to grow up as much as I want to, without really forcing me into anything. I am in a position where I need to confront some of my fears, but I do so at my own pace. And, no, I’m not expected to provide a hot meal everyday and scrub the house clean every weekend – something I’m hugely grateful for! In fact, what happens is that, the less I am pressured into tending to household duties, the more likely I am to do them out of my own will. Same with slowing down on my hectic, workaholic worthy, professional involvement. I’m still passionate about my work and I still try to give it my best, but it’s great to see I can actually fit other things in between projects. All in all, I’m living a quiet, domestic life in addition to the exciting, and sometimes intensely stressful professional one. And it feels good. Happy. Bliss, domestic version.
Like many women in my generation, I’ve grown up believing that my best asset was my mind and my skills, mostly professional ones. I’ve educated myself into thinking there’s more potential to me than just being a good, loving, tender wife. That, important as it may be to be able to cook, bake, clean, wash and all that, it was more important to be able to make myself happy – and contribute to the happiness of whoever was lucky enough to cross paths with me WITHOUT getting in my way…
It’s a rather selfish view on the world, but I still believe that to a large extent. I still think I am the only one who’s responsible for my own happiness and, therefore, my own happiness needs to come first. But it’s so nice to discover I can make other people happy in the process simply by learning and practicing the art of negotiation and compromise.
Case in point. I’ve recently moved in with my long-term significant other, after much hesitation on my part. I was very much afraid moving in would mean turning into a full-time “wifish-creature”, the complete opposite of who I am and who I want to be. That I’d have to give up the things I liked, accept some stuff I didn’t like and even, sigh, be forced to grow up.
Turns out it isn’t nearly as bad as I’d feared. It’s actually nice, to be honest. I find that my new status allows me to keep much of my cherished independence and freedom, and it allows me to grow up as much as I want to, without really forcing me into anything. I am in a position where I need to confront some of my fears, but I do so at my own pace. And, no, I’m not expected to provide a hot meal everyday and scrub the house clean every weekend – something I’m hugely grateful for! In fact, what happens is that, the less I am pressured into tending to household duties, the more likely I am to do them out of my own will. Same with slowing down on my hectic, workaholic worthy, professional involvement. I’m still passionate about my work and I still try to give it my best, but it’s great to see I can actually fit other things in between projects. All in all, I’m living a quiet, domestic life in addition to the exciting, and sometimes intensely stressful professional one. And it feels good. Happy. Bliss, domestic version.
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