I’ve often been told that big changes come in small steps, and that nothing really worth achieving is obtained without hard work. I figured, then, that I could achieve pretty much anything I wanted by working hard and taking things one at a time. Turns out that might not be the case.
My life is generally nice, and occasionally a lot of fun too. It’s also full of hard work. And that’s the one thing I am planning to change. I want to make it nicer and even MORE fun. If possible. And YES, that is possible.
There was this movie about the law of attraction, The Secret, saying, basically, that we attract in our lives whatever it is that we are, consciously or unconsciously, focusing on. Sure, there’s more to it than just thinking you want something and achieving it instantly. It rarely works like that. It’s more about sending out the right vibes, getting in tune with whatever it is that is above us, universe or deity. And about remaining positive through continuous, conscious efforts.
Now that’s where the small steps thing comes in. Trying to apply the whole philosophy of the movie to my everyday life, I started by making small changes, such as trying to rephrase stuff so as to avoid the word “no” or any other negative words. Or trying to preface anything nasty with something at least a little bit sweet. Or forcing myself to smile even when I rather felt like crying. And all of those things were good. They did have a good impact on my life. It’s just that I had expected more…
And more came when I eventually gave up trying. REALLY gave up trying. Somehow, I must have guessed that all the changes I was making outside meant little as opposed to the changes that were quietly operating inside of me. Without any actual effort on my part. No hard work. I can honestly say I was doing what felt good to me. Even if, at the time, it seemed rather counter-intuitive.
Here’s an example of what I mean. A while ago I would be rather heart-broken during the times my significant other was away from me. And that happened A LOT. I focused on feelings of loneliness, isolation, fear that he might not return, lack of self-confidence, even mild depression. Yes, I actually had days when I didn’t want to get out of bed at all, let alone start on some activity to make me feel better. I was all about waiting for time to pass, to see him back, to stop feeling so miserable.
And then it did stop. But not because my honey had returned. Somehow, by means of significant support I received from the guardian angel I call my friend, I was reborn from the ash. Literally. Emotionally reborn. Went back (had I ever been there before? I sometimes wonder), to being an open-minded, fun, smart, loving girl, who enjoyed life and enjoyed herself. I discovered happiness inside, rather than outside. I became strong. I’m still becoming stronger.
So why all this? Why now? Maybe because I’ve learnt a valuable lesson I’m eager to share with you. And that is to embrace your feelings, rather than try running away from them. They’re your feelings for a reason. I’m not going to encourage mopping around for months in a row when you’ve had a bad experience in your life – I’m just saying you should accept that sad thoughts and bad feelings are a part of yourself just like good and happy ones, and you do need to accept them before you can move on and focus on the positive aspects. But keep in mind there are always brighter days ahead. ALWAYS. And you might run into them sooner than expected. In an absurdly crazy way. Like a really long, really late night conversation with a total stranger…
My life is generally nice, and occasionally a lot of fun too. It’s also full of hard work. And that’s the one thing I am planning to change. I want to make it nicer and even MORE fun. If possible. And YES, that is possible.
There was this movie about the law of attraction, The Secret, saying, basically, that we attract in our lives whatever it is that we are, consciously or unconsciously, focusing on. Sure, there’s more to it than just thinking you want something and achieving it instantly. It rarely works like that. It’s more about sending out the right vibes, getting in tune with whatever it is that is above us, universe or deity. And about remaining positive through continuous, conscious efforts.
Now that’s where the small steps thing comes in. Trying to apply the whole philosophy of the movie to my everyday life, I started by making small changes, such as trying to rephrase stuff so as to avoid the word “no” or any other negative words. Or trying to preface anything nasty with something at least a little bit sweet. Or forcing myself to smile even when I rather felt like crying. And all of those things were good. They did have a good impact on my life. It’s just that I had expected more…
And more came when I eventually gave up trying. REALLY gave up trying. Somehow, I must have guessed that all the changes I was making outside meant little as opposed to the changes that were quietly operating inside of me. Without any actual effort on my part. No hard work. I can honestly say I was doing what felt good to me. Even if, at the time, it seemed rather counter-intuitive.
Here’s an example of what I mean. A while ago I would be rather heart-broken during the times my significant other was away from me. And that happened A LOT. I focused on feelings of loneliness, isolation, fear that he might not return, lack of self-confidence, even mild depression. Yes, I actually had days when I didn’t want to get out of bed at all, let alone start on some activity to make me feel better. I was all about waiting for time to pass, to see him back, to stop feeling so miserable.
And then it did stop. But not because my honey had returned. Somehow, by means of significant support I received from the guardian angel I call my friend, I was reborn from the ash. Literally. Emotionally reborn. Went back (had I ever been there before? I sometimes wonder), to being an open-minded, fun, smart, loving girl, who enjoyed life and enjoyed herself. I discovered happiness inside, rather than outside. I became strong. I’m still becoming stronger.
So why all this? Why now? Maybe because I’ve learnt a valuable lesson I’m eager to share with you. And that is to embrace your feelings, rather than try running away from them. They’re your feelings for a reason. I’m not going to encourage mopping around for months in a row when you’ve had a bad experience in your life – I’m just saying you should accept that sad thoughts and bad feelings are a part of yourself just like good and happy ones, and you do need to accept them before you can move on and focus on the positive aspects. But keep in mind there are always brighter days ahead. ALWAYS. And you might run into them sooner than expected. In an absurdly crazy way. Like a really long, really late night conversation with a total stranger…
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